Six hundred matches, and meeting four guys in person in just a span of three months.
Ito ang karanasan ni Mae, 31, sa kanyang pagti-Tinder, isang kilalang international dating app.
Pero nagbunga ang pagsu-swipe sa Tinder ni Mae.
Dito niya kasi nakilala ang naging boyfriend at later on ay naging asawa, si Joseph, 38.
Unconventional ang kanilang kuwento, pero sa huli ay nakagawa sila ng love story na parang hinugot sa isang romantic movie.
Sina Mae at Joseph ay parehong galing sa nagtapos na long-term relationships noon.
Nag-Tinder. Nag-match. And the rest, as they say, is history.
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TWO PEOPLE FROM RECENT BREAKUPS
Taong 2015 nang magsimulang mag-Tinder si Mae, na isang quality analyst sa isang company.
Kuwento niya sa PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) through Facebook Messenger at email (published as is): “We both started using Tinder around the same time, e. I started using it in March 2015.
“Pareho kaming galing sa breakup. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost four years, and he recently broke up with his girlfriend of 11 years.”
Roughly three months after using Tinder, nag-match sila ni Joseph. They both swiped right at each other’s profile, which indicates they liked each other.
“May 2015 kami nag-match,” pagpapatuloy ni Mae. “To be honest, we did not start talking to each other right away after we matched.
“A few days after pa ata before he first messaged me.”
At doon na nagsimula ang kanilang getting-to-know phase online.
“We talked about where we studied, where we are currently working, where we currently live.
“Hindi pa nga niya agad sinabi kung saan talaga siya nagwo-work. He lied about his occupation pa nung una.
“Inamin na lang niya sa akin where he really works, and what he really does nung nagkita na kami.”
Inabot ng tatlong buwan bago sila nagkasundong mag-meet in person.
“August 1 [2015] pa kami nag-meet. Kaya ‘81’ ang number ng email address ko. It means August 1.”
Aminado naman si Mae mayroon siyang mga agam-agam lalo pa at online sila nagkakilala ni Joseph.
Mayroon kasi siyang mga hindi magagandang karanasan sa online dating.
“So, my husband did not reveal his real occupation until we actually met,” sabi ni Mae.
“And I don't like meeting up instantly right after matching with someone.
“Gusto kong medyo nakikilala muna yung kausap ko. Yung iba kong mineet, I bring my best friend with me para safe.”
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THE MEET-UP
Biglaan pa ang unang pagkikita noon nina Mae at Joseph.
Kuwento ni Mae, “So, August 1, 2015, was a Saturday. May OT [overtime] ako sa work noon. At that time, I still live in Pasig.
“He asked me kung nasaan daw ako, and I said pauwi from work.”
Nagyaya raw si Joseph na magkita sila kahit saglit kahit lang.
“Mag-9:00 or 10:00 pm na ata nun. Sabi ko okay lang, pero we can't stay up late kasi I still have work at 5:00 am the next day.”
Inusisa ng PEP si Mae kung na-meet ba ang expectations niya nang una silang magkita ni Joseph.
“Way better!” sagot nito. Inilahad niya na nakaramdam pala sila ng instant attraction sa isa’t isa sa unang pagkikita.
Pagpapatuloy ni Mae, “So, I stand 4'11. My now-husband stands 5'10 and a half. Almost 6-footer.
“Nauna ako sa coffee shop that time, e. Pagpasok niya, legit yung nag-so-slow-mo yung paligid. That's my POV [point of view]. Ang pogi at ang tangkad, e.
“Di naman ako kagandahan. Buti na lang payat pa ako nun. Hehe."
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Ani Mae, “So, I came from work on a weekend so we can wear comfortable clothes. I remember I was wearing denim shorts, a shirt, and a varsity jacket.
“Later on in our relationship, nung napag-usapan na ulit yung first meeting namin, he told me na hindi na daw niya ako nakalimutan after that meet-up dahil daw ang ‘sexy’ ko. Buti na lang! Hehe. Kidding!”
Ang dapat sana ay saglit na meet-up ay nagtagal ng ilang oras.
“We actually ended up talking in Figaro Sta. Lucia until 2:00 am if I'm not mistaken," pagbabalik-tanaw ni Mae.
“Nag-close na yung coffee shop, but we stayed outside, just talking, and laughing at random things.”
CONSISTENCY IS CREDIBILITY
Dahil ilang buwan na silang nag-uusap online, binigyan ng chance ni Mae si Joseph para lalong makilala ang isa’t isa.
“He was consistent when it comes to communicating with me. Every single day, magka-text kami.
“After nung meet-up, palagi na siyang dumadaan sa office namin kahit out of the way pauwi sa kanila, just to eat breakfast with me or just to give me coffee.”
Muntik pa raw maudlot ang kanilang pagdi-date dahil sa isang pangyayari.
“So we briefly stopped communicating,” maingat na mensahe ni Mae.
"Pero after a week, kinamusta ko siya sa text, and ang reply niya is 'Nasan ka?' Again, I was at work. Ang sabi niya magkita kami after work at a mall nearby my office.
“Pagdating ko, nakita ko siya, may dalang bouquet ng flowers.
“Buti nalang nangamusta ako. Hehe,” biro ni Mae. “From then on, naging constant na ulit ang communication."
Ang pagiging consistent ni Joseph ang nagkumbinsi kay Mae na bigyan ng chance si Joseph.
“Yung consistency and simple gestures niya just to be with me ang talagang nagpakilig sa akin noon, and made me think na, ‘Ahh. May chance itong pang long-term.’”
Hindi itinanggi ni Mae na whirlwind romance ang nangyari sa kanila ni Joseph.
“But I wouldn't have it any other way,” katuwiran niya.
Nag-match sila sa Tinder noong May 2015. Nagkita pagdating ng August 2015. October 2015, naging sila na.
Nag-propose si Joseph kay Mae noong February 2017.
“Dec 2017, we bought a house. June 2018, we got married.”
MAE GIVES ADVICE ON ONLINE DATING
Dahil sa pagiging popular ng social media nowadays, nagiging popular din ito to meet people.
Pero ang paalala ni Mae, kailangan ding maging maingat.
“One advantage is you only get to interact with people you are physically attracted to,” paliwanag niya.
“Let's be honest, dun naman talaga nagsisimula. Sa physical attraction.
“You can block them anytime if you think hindi nagpo-progress ang conversation niyo. Always surface level.
“Ang disadvantage, especially sa Tinder, it's mostly used for hook-ups.
“I remember na I matched with around 600 guys, more or less. I was able to meet 4 guys, including my husband in the course of 3 months.
“Kasi marami talagang hindi naman looking for something serious. It really is a gamble,” saad niya.
Dugtong ni Mae, “Isa pang disadvantage is nakakapagod. I remember na may mga kausap ako nun na sabay-sabay. Paulit-ulit lang naman ang topic sa ‘getting to know’ phase.
“Para bang every single time na susubok kang makipag-usap with a guy, mag-spend ka din talaga ng time and effort, e.
“Pero in the end, you'll realize na, ‘Ay, hindi kami same wavelength magisip’ or ‘Ay, one-night stand lang ang gusto,’ mga ganun.”
Narito ang additional reminders ni Mae sa mga nais sumubok ng online dating apps:
“You should know what you want. Don't settle for less,” sabi ni Mae.
“Don't rush into meeting someone in person. You can chat/text muna to have an idea who they are as a person. Wag magpa-peer pressure.
“First meet-up should be in a public place. Sa maraming tao dapat for your own security.
“If you're someone na hindi naman naghahanap ng something serious, make sure na yung kausap mo also has the same mindset, so no one gets hurt in the end.”